It is best for the mentor to be of the same culture (or at least culturally very close) to the new person. The main reasons is that one can feel more comfortable with someone with whom they can speak their own language and act naturally, rather than have to conform to some unnatural guidelines. There are cases where the mentor is a person of the target culture, but this seems to work best when they have an appropriate temperament and have lived abroad where they become more international and intercultural in their approach.

There are also cases where the mentor has been a mono-cultural person of the host culture and the newcomer has done well. However, it might be that the newcomer is simply a good survivor.

Very little formal study seems to have been done on cultural mentoring. It is seldom that one person has all the wide-ranging kinds of skills to do all parts of the mentoring process equally well, and it is best to have a range of people take on different aspects. Some of the main qualities are:

• highly personable and sympathetic, with some counseling skills
• ability to understand the newcomer from his/her cultural viewpoint
• understands people in the local culture
• organizationally as neutral as possible

The need for organizational neutrality is difficult in organizations where the branch leader is automatically designated the mentor. When the newcomer is frustrated with the organization, the person who should be the source of help is the main problem, and thus compounds the problem.

It is also important that mentors not be imposed, but rather that there be some natural personal affinity. In fact, people tend to seek help from those to whom they naturally gravitate. An excellent mentor for one person might not be helpful for another. This is especially the case with single people, who need a mentor of their own gender.

The mentor can create a forum where can people be honest about how well they are coping and give each other more objective feedback. He/she can also give on-time feedback that helps people work though issues at the time rather than in hindsight.

The mentor or support group can help newcomers work though different aspects of culture shock:

Situational People ask all sorts of questions like: "Where do you buy a …..?" "How do you go to ….?" "How do I pay this bill?" "What can I do for fun on weekends?" It's reasonable to expect that people will eventually be able to get this information from locals, but it's far more efficient to have a mentor that can provide simple information quickly.

Language The mentor needs to ask regularly, "How is your language course going? Do you get out to talk regularly to neighbors and people on the road? Does the present textbook and teacher work for you?" Again, people ask all sorts of questions:

• "I spoke to a lady and she reacted ….. What happened?"
• "How can I …. without offending X?"
• "X comes to my house every day but I don't know why."
• "I don't get along with team member Y and it's his/her fault."

Organizational Mentors might be the best people to ask about organizational tensions. How can we handle this misunderstanding? What issues do you need to communicate with your organization?

Self-discovery. Most people really need personal pastoral care, although different people might have widely varying needs. Some might just want companionship, while other might want a counselor.

My personal preference is to include also a study of the culture from written sources and from visits to culturally important sites. It does not benefit everyone equally, especially as some people are not interested in understanding a great deal or in reading.

Cultural immersion programs are a closely related but separate topic.

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