Culture shock normally sets in after the honeymoon phase. It is the abnormal social and emotional reactions that are caused when one's knowledge of past experiences does not help to know what to expect or how to respond. Not everyone is the same; some people don't have it at all and some have serious problems. One person hid in her house for the first two weeks in a new country, afraid to go even past the front door.

There are several elements that blend together but affect one in roughly the order below.

Situational shock

At this stage the physical environment might be threatening enough, without even starting to relate to people. Lots of things are different: food, not knowing your way around, the layout of ordinary houses, using the bathroom, climate, use of space, traffic rules, money, houses, vehicles, paperwork, separation from your normal support group of family and friends. You have little resistance to the local infections and might become sick easily, even in very healthy conditions.

Language shock

Everybody speaks a foreign language; you can't even talk to people or understand what they say.

If you're going to where people speak a different dialect of your language, you might be confused by accents, non-standard words, idioms, and normal words with different meanings. In cases of subcultures, specialized jargon will be confusing.

Interpersonal stress

You don't know what people expect of you nor what you should expect of them. You might go to great lengths to avoid offending people, and either get frustrated by the process or discover new ways of offending them. You might find that they have a wrong stereotype of you and your ethnic group or race.

They might also treat you just the same as they treat everybody else, but you're not used to being treated in that way.

If you've started to learn language, it might evaporate when face to face with a real person who speaks only that language. Having to communicate with a real person is its own kind of shock. 

Decision-making shock

You have great difficulty making decisions, even if they are minor. You go to the shop to buy something and don't know which brand to buy (they don't have you normal brands from back home). 

Too much of the future is an unknown so how can you make big decisions correctly? Besides, your expectations are not necessarily realistic. You want to rent a house but don't know what you should expect.

Organizational shock

If you a moving cultures through organizational channels, mistakes are normal and you should accept this early. Of course you understand that organizations make mistakes. But it's hard to be objective when they make mistakes with your life, and it can easily lead to blame, anger, frustration, distrust of motives, gossip, and communication breakdown.

As you know very little about the new culture, your expectations of your organization will probably be unrealistic.

Look at the potential mix of cultural expectations between you and the person who helps you adjust:

• If a local helps you adjust, he/she might have difficulty meeting your foreign expectations.
• If a well-adjusted expat helps you, he/she will expect you to adapt easily to local norms.
• If an expat from a different culture helps you, then he/she might have expectations from his own culture as well.
• If a poorly adjusted expat helps you adjust, he/she might not be able to point you in the right direction.
• You are also a wild card: they do not really know what you want until you arrive.

Besides, some organizations don't give help at all and work on a "sink or swim" principle. They point to a few successes to prove their approach works, and ignore their many drownings.

Shock of discovering yourself

You find new limitations and abilities within yourself. You also surprise yourself with your responses to the culture around you. You might also become irrationally defensive about your own culture. Or you might find that the new place is a very nice place to live.

BIG Hint Keep a diary of your questions and the answers your were given, your observations, and things to which you had to adjust.

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