Conflict resolution

About conflict resolution

In community services, many crises involve some kind of interpersonal conflict. In fact, for some workers, physical violence from clients is one of the main Workplace Health and Safety risks.

You have a duty of care to provide a safe environment for yourself and others, which includes the obligation to be prepared for anything that is "reasonably foreseeable."

Consider these contexts and kinds of conflict:

1. You work at the front desk of an office serving members of the public. An intoxicated client in the waiting room becomes agitated and starts shouting at her children. The commotion is clearly distressing to other clients.
2. You work in a rehabilitation center for recently released prisoners. One of them wants to smuggle his girlfriend in for the night, which is against the rules. He tries various ploys, including pestering and threatening to report you to the funding agency for violating his rights.
3. You work in a residential facility for substance abuse victims. A resident becomes angry and irrational, accusing another resident of stealing from him. He looks like he could become violent.
4. You run a community youth program as part of a crime prevention strategy. Several young people get angry and start a fight. One of them gets a bottle and breaks the end off it, making a dangerous weapon.
5. You are the case officer for an age pensioner. She comes in and complains that your organization has cheated her out of an entitlement. She is easily muddled and does not remember anything about the service terms. But she is adamant that she is right.
6. You are chairperson of a community organization. In working with another organization, you find financial irregularities in the work of their widely respected treasurer. You make an appointment to speak with its chairperson.
7. You coach an amateur basketball team. One of the parents complains that you have been ineffective. Her child, she maintains, is remarkably gifted and should be the star of the team. She feels that you are holding him back.

Range of behaviors

The range of difficult or challenging behaviors can be very wide. Consider these examples:

aggression confusion or other cognitive impairment noisiness manipulation wandering self-destructiveness intent to harm self or others, including threat of suicide intoxication intrusiveness personal friction

anxiety or extreme concern serious and chronic complaints forceful refusal to cooperate irrational behavior language and behavior that is offensive, provocative, racist, threatening, or abusive bullying apathy, loss of interest, withdrawal rejection of family, friends, support networks hyperactivity/depression

About you

Several questions come up. "First, do you know how other people see you?" The kind of person you are brings a lot to the way you will act and react in a conflict.

"Second, how much are you dealing with a real problem, and how much are you simply ameliorating an angry person?" People might justifiably become angrier if you only do some emotional stroking and ignore their real problem. It is better to presume that their dispute may be genuine and their anger is simply an impediment to resolving it.

"Third, how much do you need to be cool and objective, and how much do you need to be caring and compassionate?" You need to keep in touch with the facts and to be fair. Keep a cool head; if you panic you become part of the problem. Other than that, if you err, try to err on the side of compassion. After all, community services is about helping people. Being professional can be good, but being cold and uncaring just adds to the problem.

Beforehand

Check that your organization has a set of policies on what to do. It should also have a list of other agencies to which you can refer people or call for help.

You also need to know:

• what laws apply to the way you treat clients who have special needs and require special support.
• the main cultural practices and customs of the client group you work with, and their effect on how people behave.

You will find these resources helpful:

• A mobile phone to get help.
• Phone numbers of key people to get help.
• Your organization's procedures.

About observing and monitoring behavior

Keep an eye on your clients' behavior. You will also notice when situations become tense and likely to become a conflict. You may be able to prevent the conflict while you are simply observing. And if you get stuck, you can ask for advice from someone more knowledgeable than yourself.

You should notice how clients split into groups, the basis for doing so, and whether some groups have power over others. For example:

• Temperament and mood. Watch temperaments. Some people are more inclined to conflict than others, such as:
• recurring attitude problems (e.g. bullying), or
• come from background that make them easily feel threatened.
• Extended family. A group might appear to be neighbors, but the actual relationship is one of extended family. Or there could be several extended families that do not relate well to each other.

  Other tensions. There might be tensions relating to occupation, ethnic group, or wealth. Modern young people tend to split into separate "tribes", each with their own culture and power system. Each "tribe" has its own definition of cool.

Consider turf

A conflict between two parties happens somewhere. If it's on your turf, you have a natural advantage and the other side feels at a disadvantage. This might make them less confident and more willing to comply, but it might also make them very defensive. And if they feel strongly enough about the disputed matter, the location is irrelevant.

Use turf rules. You might choose to meet them on theirs, where they will feel more in control and more willing to talk. You might also choose a neutral venue such as a coffee shop, so that nobody is at an advantage.

Assess risks

As you go, assess risks. If you do it well, you will identify most kinds of possible conflicts because you know know the signs to look for. This can help you identify some conflicts earlier and avert them. You will also have better, thought-through responses and have suitable procedures in place.

Recognize and assess

1. Recognize and acknowledge that there is a conflict. Not always as easy as it sounds. There's not much difference between noticing that a person is grumpy and noticing a conflict that could easily get out of control.
2. Assess it. Who does it affect? Could it escalate? What would happen if it were left to continue?
3. Look for any cultural values and sensitivities, and adapt your style and language to accommodate them. For example, you might see the conflict as an unjustified complaint, but the other party might see it as racist and uncaring bureaucrat. You could both be right, but you wouldn't easily see to other viewpoint.
4. In the case of a serious situation, consider the following:
1. What can you legally do?
2. Do you have an escape route?
3. What could be done safely?
4. How many people?
5. What gender are they? How big are they? Are they fit? What skills do they have?
6. Are weapons involved?
7. How has the person behaved in the past?
8. Has evidence been destroyed?
9. What is the medical condition of the resident? (e.g. psychotic, pregnant, etc.)
10. Is the resident disabled?
11. What are the capabilities of staff involved?
12. Is a senior staff member present?
13. What other resources are available to you? (other staff, police, etc.)
14. What equipment do you have?
15. Is the incident on video tape?
16. Why did the situation arise?
17. What effect does the immediate environment have?
18. How urgent is it?

Option: Can you reduce tension and nip it in the bud?

Avert the conflict in its early stages. If you get it early before it becomes more serious, most people won't even know it's happened. If it gets serious, there is no turning back and solutions become more difficult to find.

First, give the person your full attention. Maintain eye contact unless it is culturally inappropriate (e.g. many traditional Aboriginal people). Speak clearly and concisely, with a nonthreatening tone in your voice. Be careful also to use a nonthreatening body language and personal presentation. A gentle word and a positive attitude might be all that you need. "A gentle word turns away anger." Proverbs.

If possible, move the conflict away from public areas. For example, you might ask an angry client into a separate office where you can discuss the matter more privately. This way, you contain the conflict to a smaller, more private space and limit the number of people who may be involved.

Calm the person down so that you can at least communicate. Contain their emotional responses and escalating behavior. Stressed and dysfunctional people are often unable to communicate clearly; they tend to communicate in short, incoherent bursts. They will put you under pressure that you will probably find very stressful. They are also tense and want to stand up. So ask them to sit down.

Answer their immediate questions. They might start with lots of questions. If they are simple, you can answer them straight away. Otherwise, you might need to go to the next step.

Get them to explain their view of the problem. Make sure the person feels listened to; sometimes that is really all they want.

It works best for them to tell it as a story; this creates coherence and helps them get it off their chest. It can also move them through the emotional process of accepting change. They will probably be highly biased in their telling and unreasonable in the solution they are demanding.

Interrupt as little as possible. If you interrupt too much, they will think that you aren't listening and the conflict escalates. Use questions in a constructive way:

• You can ask for essential information that they may have left out.
• If they appear to ramble about irrelevant details, ask why the person thinks those details are important.

When they have finished, ask questions to find the core problems and to establish facts. Find out what they really think is the problem or what they really want. Listen reflectively, and ask follow-up questions. This also gives them opportunity to be more reasonable, and for you to generate a range of alternative solutions.

But can you be sure the client's version of the facts is correct? Check the accuracy of information from different sources. You might check the story with other people or with documentary sources.

Then you can negotiate a solution. (See separate e-book)

Hints:

• This is usually your best alternative.
• You might need to incorporate a cooling off period as well.
• Give people time to change their thinking. (Cf. Change: especially stages, Give decision-makers time.)
• You will probably also need to negotiate.
• You may need to ask for help.
• Encourage people to be responsible for their behavior and its consequences.

Risks:

• It doesn't always work. For example, some drunk and/or angry people are so insistent on getting what they want that they won't listen. They can't understand anything other than getting what they want.

Option: Do you need to do anything?

Can you leave people alone to cool off? It might be enough to solve the problem.

A young person in a small school was venting anger about something in the school yard. Although being loud, he wasn't actually abusing or hurting anyone. A student reported it to a teacher.

The teacher decided simply to let the student be. He knew that the student's parents had just split up and the student was not taking it well.

Risk: It's easy to ignore problems when you should step in.

Option: Give a diversion

For some kinds of conflict, create another option that the person wants. It gives them an attractive alternative that solves the problem by taking their mind off it.

Risk: It could ignore the problem rather than resolve it.

Negotiation strategies

Here's a toolkit of negotiation strategies. Some are mutually exclusive and some are nearly the same. A few imply that the other party has a particular strategy for negotiating with you. (For more detail, see the separate e-book.)

• Create win/win situations
• Provide a range of solutions and give them a choice
• Generate a creative alternative
• Check the actual wording of an agreement
• Compromise
• Classical polemic: Argue your case
• Be tough
• Both negotiators take both roles
• Seek more information
• Explore hypotheticals

Option: Mediate

If more than one person in involved, mediate between them.

Separate the disgruntled parties and let them cool off. It sometimes works for you to act as a go-between for them to even agree to talk about the matter.

When you can, bring the parties together to talk directly. If you do, be aware the they may be aggressive and perhaps even physically violent. Make your role very clear as mediator of discussions. Be willing to close down lines of discussion that increase tension or go around in circles. Look for points of agreement and give each side time to change its thinking. Work toward agreement but don't let it be rushed or forced.

You will also need to follow up your mediation. What people agree on at the time doesn't always hold, and the circumstances will change.

Option: Can you simply assert your authority?

Simply being assertive is the best approach when people will respect leadership and it will offer a real solution. It is often appropriate when working with young people. The risk is that it won't work and will escalate the conflict.

Be assertive in challenging unacceptable behavior. You may be able to outline options and opportunities to change, and give positive encouragement

Discuss with them the consequences of continuing the unacceptable behavior. You might be able to get them to agree on the consequences. Then ask them to agree with you on a course of action.

Option G: Refer the matter to your supervisor

If you don't have enough authority to provide a solution, you might simply have to refer the matter to your supervisor. It might feel like you're chickening out, but your policies might require it.

Option: Use the conflict as an opportunity

Treat the problem as an opportunity that you can use to your advantage.

A good resolution can create loyalty and goodwill that is out of proportion to any small cost. A retail manager might resolve a complaint with a refund, exchange, or gift voucher. The customer feels listened to and well served.

Scenario

John, a retail store manager, gets a complaint from Helen, a dissatisfied customer. The manager listens carefully, and offers a full refund and a gift voucher, even though the store is not in the wrong and he doesn't need to. Helen is so pleased with the standard of service that she now spends more money there than she ever did in the past.

Option: Treat it as a crisis

You can follow your organization's crisis response procedures.

Using physical force to restrain people is usually a last resort if a conflict can't be resolved by discussion. But, depending on your organization, it might your first choice if someone has already become violent and potentially dangerous.

If you have to physically restrain anybody, your organization should have a policy.

Reporting incidents

You might have different reporting requirements:

• It may be enough to report the incident orally at the time to your supervisor.
• You should write incident reports on serious incidents, and your organization should have a procedure. A report made as soon as practicable after the incident will give some protection in case there is a legal or insurance case.
• If you are a case manager, the incident should be entered in the person's case notes.
• You might also have to follow a reporting procedure if you are responsible to an outside body for that client.

Debriefing incidents

Your organization should also have debrief sessions, either as a staff group or individually with a supervisor. If you've been though a major conflict, you can analyze the incident in terms of:

1. What happened?
2. Why did it happen?
3. How effective was the response?
4. What other possible responses could have been effective?
5. What changes in procedures or training do you need to make?

In serious conflicts, your supervisor should also monitor you for stress at the time and give you enough time to clear your head. In the longer term afterwards, your supervisor should monitor you for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

Tips for breaking up or preventing a fight

Do not use physical intervention

• Physical intervention is a last resort; use it only if:
• you have training in using physical techniques and
• you have assessed that it is safe for you to intervene this way.

Find someone to help.

Trying to do it all by yourself is usually dangerous. Call the police if you can

Remove the audience

The intensity of a fight is often fuelled by the intensity of the bystanders. Remove them as soon as possible.

Do not step between the fighters

This makes you vulnerable and the aggression can quickly shift toward you.

Intervene verbally

Often one or both of the fighters hopes that someone will stop the fight. Resist the temptation to use physical intervention immediately.

Use a distraction

A distraction such as a loud noise, flickering lights, or turning on a TV can break the intensity of the fight.

Separate the fighters

As soon as it is safe to do so, break visual contact between the fighters. Allow one or both to leave the area or go to separate rooms. This will give them time to "cool off."

Used and adapted with permission http://bkaw.bravepages.com/socsci/socsciindex.html